Dating has become an intricate process of decoding tricky text messages and learning the latest online lingo. Confusing mind games and sub-par dating tips don’t help, and now more than ever, it’s a jungle out there. If you’re Tarzan looking for your Jane, deciding when to make that call can be a real challenge. It’s common for a bundle of anxiety to accompany those post-date nerves. You’ve got all the butterflies, and sweating it out a minute longer doesn’t seem possible, or realistic. So, what’s a guy or gal, to do?
Unless you grew up in a super strict household, you’ve probably heard of the three-day rule. This dating rule, which originated during the days way back when courting someone was actually a thing, says a person should wait at least three days after a date before calling, even if they’re extremely interested.
Dating Tips: How Long Should You Wait to Call?
Sometimes, though, it can be hard to tell just what another person is thinking, seeing as everyone’s expectations vary. Case in point, research that surveyed 5,500 singles in the U.S. found 50% of singles said they think a good first date ends with a kiss. Now, with a split like that right down the middle, it’s no wonder many people are confused about the appropriate time to call after a date. Well, we’re here to help you figure out how long you should wait.
It’s okay to reach out to a date within less than three days
The three-day rule is losing its clout thanks to our technology-driven society. Match.com’s 2012 edition of the same survey found more than three-quarters of men think it’s appropriate to reach out within three days if they’re interested. That being said, it’s worth noting that this research groups other forms of communication into the calling category, meaning texting, emailing, etc., all count as reaching out. Whitney Casey, a Match.com dating expert, mentioned in a Today article that our phones drastically influence today’s dating culture. Even if you’re not using your phone to call your date, you’re still using it to stalk, er, do your due diligence on, a person you’re interested in getting to know more.
Contact your date when the mood strikes
No, this doesn’t mean booty calls. The point is you should simply get in touch with someone if you feel like talking to them. Gone are the days of waiting for the phone to ring. One piece of advice though. The Huffington Post warns that although it’s great to go with your feelings when someone’s on your mind, don’t be that person who repeatedly calls. That’s obviously not cool.
Base your wait time on how well the date went
If the date went phenomenally without a hiccup to report, then there’s a good chance you’ll be seeing one another again. And use how well the date went to judge about how long you think you should wait before reaching out. As Men’s Fitness says, the better the date, the shorter the wait. “The new norm is to text an hour after the date,” Match.com dating and relationship expert Whitney Casey told the publication. “Keep it casual, mentioning something you laughed about together or just expressing how much you enjoyed hanging out.” There’s no substitute for trusting your gut and acting on your instinct. If you’re really into someone, put yourself out there and see what happens. After all, part of being an adult is being honest with yourself and your expectations, right?